When I was a sophomore at the University I got hooked on cough drops. I had been pretty sick and I couldn't kick the cough, so Halls and Ricola were my go-to solution. I sucked down an average of two bags per day, which is way more than recommended, but whatevs. I needed their menthol-y goodness. I mean, come on, RIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCOOOOOOLLLLLAAAAA is made with Chrüterchraft. *cough* Yeah.
Then my cough went away, but the cough drops didn't. I needed those suckers and my friends began to notice and, honestly, it sort of became a running joke. Except it took me the whole semester to back away from the cough drops. Think French is hard, try it with a mouth full of cherry Halls. Impossible.
Why am I telling you this?
No idea, except that I'm sick, have a cough, and have downed half a bag of cough drops in the last three hours. By the time this cough goes away, I'm going to need an intervention. And rehab. Seriously. What do they put in these things?!
Crack, it has to be crack. That's the only explanation. Or maybe it's not the ingredients. Maybe I just don't want those two manly-looking men on that ad up there to think I "look ugly" when I cough. That must be it.
I'm going to the doctor Thursday afternoon... if I don't die before then. Coughing.
1 week ago